Can We Really Be True To Ourselves?

Ava has been best pals with Tobi and Tish since high school. Now in college, Tish reveals her true feelings for Tobi to Ava. Ava is crushed. Being an expert in concealing her true emotions, she expresses excitement over the news and urges Tish to go for it.
 Speak of the devil, Tobi shows up and says he wants a word with Ava.

Ava is puzzled. "What could he possibly have to say?"

She ponders. Tobi talks about his feelings for Tish and his possible intentions. Similarly, Ava urges him to profess his feelings to her.

But why is Ava taking all these in? Can't she open up and express her true feelings? Why does she have to sacrifice what she feels for the sake of peace?

Perhaps she doesn't want to ruin her friendship with Tish considering Tish already confided in her. You may think. Or maybe she's afraid Tobi wouldn't reciprocate since he's already declared his feelings for Tish to her. You may also think.
 Truth is, whatever the case, we may never know unless we try...

This then introduces the question: Can We Really Be True To Ourselves?


I don't think there's exactly a definitive answer to the question. I've struggled, many times and in so many ways, to prove that I could be true to myself, but the farther my efforts go, the clearer it occurs to me that I could be living beneath my shadow. I could be living an entire lie, clouded with a sheet of deceit, clothed in crystal rays of disguise I call truth. How could I possibly know the truth if I don't know a lie? Or happiness if I haven't known sadness? Or light if I haven’t known darkness?

Once more, societal expectations of how our attitudes should be towards our neighbors contradict how we really want to live or treat the people around us. Do we truly consider everyone around us a neighbor? Or is it a culture imposed on us by societal standards?

When you are being true to yourself, you are open and unapologetically honest about your feelings, values, and desires. It also entails openly sharing your emotions with others and with yourself, letting your truth shine through you and into the world. When you are authentic to yourself, you let your distinctiveness and personality come through. While you accept other people's perspectives, you do not adhere to their expectations or stereotypes. It takes bravery to be authentic. You must be self-aware, truthful, objective, and fair in order to succeed. True happiness is living your truth. A life of integrity is preferable to one of deception. Lies burden you and only serve to drag you down.

So in essence, what this means is that you shouldn't be afraid to put yourself first as long as you're not hurting anyone. You deserve to be just as happy as everyone else, and when you're faced with difficulties, fear or sentiments shouldn't hold you back from confronting issues or people who seem to disturb your peace. By confronting, I mean, talking things through with people. Drawing their attention to those issues that leave you bothered, unsettled, perplexed, and so on.

Amidst all of these, I'd gladly give some recommendations that could serve as a guiding path to aid you in staying true to yourself. 
- The need to practice a little bit of introspection every now and then.

1. ⁠Self-talk. This helps affirm certain positive things you believe in and about yourself.

2. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Learn to say no, create healthy boundaries, and define them clearly without compromise or bias.

3. Accept that you can't please everyone. No matter how hard you try, humans will always be insatiable, so do yourself a favor and stop trying.

4. Sometimes, we make comments about things that truly reflect how we feel about things, but once we perceive someone else isn't so pleased or doesn't subscribe to our opinions, we become quick to dismiss our opinions and buy into theirs instead. This shouldn't be acceptable behavior at all. It's how we feel about things, and we shouldn't be swayed because some people don't accept them.

5. You believe that little things matter. You don't let people preside over what should or shouldn't matter to you, big or small, because you know deep within that there's meaning even in the simplest things ignored, overlooked, or neglected.

6. Know what you want in life. The moment you've determined a goal in life, you'd fight off any unwanted presence or opinion that seeks to contradict your decisions or principles.

7. You follow your guts or intuition and have no care in this world or in the next about what other people think, do, or say.

8. Do not waste your time on frivolities or friendships that yield you no good benefits. Time wasted is never regained, so be careful of the people you give your attention to. If you feel you're giving but not getting something meaningful from a friendship, walking away is always a welcomed option.

These and so much more you could possibly make up as you go through life and seek out better ways to stay true to yourself.
 Staying true to oneself is/could be a daily struggle, but the resilience to opt for life-changing coping skills is indeed an admirable trait. When we stay true to ourselves, we become confident, transparent, and outspoken.

We do not allow gaslighting of any sort. This means that other people can choose to lie to themselves, but we will not allow them to lie to us because we know our truth and we stick with it. Through staying true to ourselves, we become so much more aware of the power people hold and how influential they can be in our lives, and what this awareness does is that it creates an advantageous platform for us, where we, in turn, have the ultimate power to dictate how much control, power, or influence people can exercise in our space as opposed to what they could do if we didn't learn the art of staying true to ourselves.

The introductory part of this article may not have been the best or ideal scenario to begin my topic of discussion, but it sure helps to push forth the narrative of this entire message I hope to pass on in a nonconforming manner.

However, I hope that you do well to ponder this, take it all in, and strive to make meaning out of your life. It's an interesting piece of knowledge to have and start the new year with. Surely, we can't change the past, but we can create a new future. We may not be able to change how everyone treats us due to the boundaries we failed to set with them, but who says it's too late to do that now? If they prove difficult, even after setting them, always remember that no one is indispensable. 

Nobody is bound here on earth forever with you except your shadow, which departs with you the day you depart from this earth.
 Overall, keep your head up, breathe in fresh air, live an honest life, define your values, beliefs, and principles, and do you!

Happy holidays! Remember to always stay true to yourself, and see you next year! ❤️