Coping With Rejection: Unrequited Feelings (Pt.1)

Dear Lord! What more can be as gut-wrenching as being rejected by someone you adore? Someone you like and have strong feelings for?

I know, right? But sadly, it all boils down to accepting the fact that "HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU."

Perhaps you can say, "Goodness! That's her favorite phrase lol," and I'll probably tell you it's true, and you'll certainly see more of it coming as I keep writing.

And why do I keep ringing that alarm bell into your head? Obviously to serve as a reminder to you just so you don't forget or get carried away by fantasies you can't stop yourself from creating.

It’s important to note that you can’t control how someone feels about you. So trying to convince someone to like you back isn’t going to make them fall for you.

If you cut yourself off entirely, it can help sometimes, but I’ve found it only makes your heart ache anytime the memories of them come back. The best way I’ve found is to just accept that you feel the way you do and try to redirect that. Why do you like them? Do you admire something about them? Let that romantic interest subside gradually and completely wear off and let the admiration stay still.

It's really unclear to me why we want the people who don't want us back. We're into people who aren't just that into us (see, I did it again!). And then I begin to wonder:

- Is it because we're not used to the idea of being rejected?
- Is it because it's difficult for us to accept reality, and therefore, we daydream and become so hopeful that tables will surely turn around to our favor? OR Is it because we've allowed ourselves to fall deeply for these people and nurtured feelings for them, and we convince ourselves that these feelings are shared and reciprocated?

It hurts when feelings that are developed are shared but not reciprocated, but it hurts even more when these feelings are shared but no answer is given (that is, whether the person in question reciprocates it or not). Then you're left in a shadow of doubt. You're left to wonder what the silence means—does this mean he feels the same way or not? OR he probably likes the attention, OR perhaps he enjoys the idea of me chasing him?

At least, in the former case, there's closure. Even though it'll take you time to heal from the rejection, it's worth knowing the person doesn't feel the same way about you. But in the latter case, one is absolutely far from closure because you're left to wander in your own sea of thoughts. It feels like you've been put in a cage and you need someone to set you free because you're desperate for answers. Answers that'll set you free. Answers that'll give you closure and help you move on and realize it's not worth the energy to fight a losing battle.

Feelings are complicated yet natural; don't ever blame or hate yourself for having them. Although, they take a bigger part of your judgment when it comes to dealing with the people you have them for.

Logic isn't exactly in "active mode" when you like someone; you barely make rational decisions, but rather, emotions tend to rule the choices or decisions you make regarding them.
Speaking to some people before writing on this article, I was thrilled to learn what some of them went through, the mental breakdown they had from liking people who didn't reciprocate their feelings…

"I had feelings for this guy, and sometime ago he suggested sex, and I succumbed. For me, I was so into him so I could do anything for him. Inwardly, I knew he was only there for the things I could do or give to him, but somehow my emotions didn't let me cut off entirely from him. Eventually, I went for therapy, and I realized my self-worth and immediately ended things there. Apparently he was using me and leading me on because he knew if he had told me he didn't like me, I wouldn't bother being with him," Louisa said.

Overwhelming story, right? But what do we make of those who can't afford to go for therapy and have to deal with it themselves?

There you have it, guys; the first part of this article has just been concluded.
Anticipate the second part next week and see y'all next time.💕