How to Get Over an Ex ( & Resisting the Urge to Text Them)

This is a pretty interesting topic of discussion. Like, I literally get asked about this many times, and I think it's high time I addressed this question.

The amazing thing about this is that I get to relate so much to it. This, I hope, will aid your understanding and (if not entirely) help you move on from your past, explore new options, and get yourself a more deserving partner who loves and adores you.

When I contemplate this question, the first reaction I give myself is "So you want to get back with someone you know has clearly moved on?" This isn't only the shocking part; the second shocking part is knowing fully well that you were told by this person that he has moved on and so should you, not just this, but coupled with him telling you that you were both not fit for each other.

Now I really don't know what else is as heartbreaking as this. But sadly, this is partially a revelation of my past experience with a lover.

Falling out of love or relationships or even both isn't something anyone can take so well, especially if that situation seemed like a blissful one, all lovey-dovey and so on. Sometimes we meet amazing people in our lives who change our perspective about life. Some even shape our existence as humans; that's why some people tend to fantasize widely and make future plans with the people they just met.

Because people place high expectations on their relationships, some of them don't last long. Meeting someone you like and have feelings for or want to build something with should go beyond the physical; I mean, it shouldn't be only about the chemistry you both feel. Rather, learning about them helps shape the decisions you make.

There's a difference between meeting someone, wanting to date them, and flirting around and having flings with no strings attached. You just don't meet someone attractive, be into them, want a relationship, and expect them to feel the same way as you, failing to inquire about or acknowledge what they want. Not everyone wants what you want; that's why many girls think they can change a guy that doesn't want to be committed but rather wants to have a good time.

Never be afraid to know a guy's true intentions. Don't feel intimidated to ask. If you want a commitment, make it known, and if he feels otherwise, then obviously he's not the one.

Someone may ask, "But what if he lies about his intentions so he can have his way?"

The answer is you'll know a decent, straight, and committed guy when you see one. There are signs and you can only miss them if you choose to ignore them. Our intuition never fails us, especially when it comes to people. We choose not to listen most times because we tend to believe we know better.

By refusing to move on, you are giving every woman the tag of "being desperate." This is the reason why some ignorant men end up abusing women. When some men read something like this and recognize that there are women who have no sense of value or purpose, they assume a woman is offering herself up.

Develop a sense of personal value. You seem to be of the opinion that this person is the reason why you were created on earth. You either have a desperate inferiority complex, or this guy messed with your mind real bad. Whichever way you need to be a strong woman.

Set a purpose in life. I am not talking about running away from reality by immersing yourself in something you don't enjoy just as an escape, but I'm talking about something you love to do, like a hobby. If you start doing that, you will soon find how valuable you are and that you don't need a crutch in life but someone who will love you for who you are. Presently you're an emotional liability, and anyone who falls for you will do the same thing this guy has done.

I know this may not seem like the typical whiny counsel that pats you on the head and tells you what a scumbag he was (and he could be that), but my concern is the dependence syndrome and the neediness you have. You are not worth anything to anyone without a sense of self-worth.

Talking about the issue of resisting an urge to text them, the reason why this usually happens is because you have formed an unhealthy level of attachment to a person who does not and will probably never feel the same way for you.

Distraction and keeping as busy as possible are the best ways to overcome this urge. And prevention is also better than a cure, so you really need to observe and be very vigilant for any red flags when it comes to someone who does not and probably will never care about you as well as displaying narcissistic behavior.

If you're in a relationship and he always talks to you ONLY when you talk to him first, then that is the number one major sign. If this happens throughout the period you have known them, then don't walk; RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. Otherwise, it will slowly rip your sanity, dignity, and self-respect apart. I have learned this lesson the very hard and painful way.

This alone should be enough for you to resist the urge to text them when you're no longer together.

I hope this helps. ❤️